FLATBED - BORN TO DESTROY - Blackball Records THE END - WITHIN DIVIDIA - Relapse Records So apparently out West in the province of British Columbia the Federal Government is in the process of killing, errr, hmmm, or should I say, “depopulating�, like a billion birds of all sorts because of this disease that is all completely out of control called Avain Influenza - basically bird flu. So I guess in the name of efficiency and time, in order to successfully complete such a large cull of birds, they are killing them by gassing the bird’s barns - pumping them full of carbon monoxide. At this point in the review, I would like to make a suggestion. How about instead of using the CO2 to bring down the curtain on all those birdies, why doesn’t the Federal Government just contract out Nanaimo, BC-based slop-rockers FLATBED to set up in the barns and blast all the birds to death?? I mean their sound is the equivalent to a dumptruck running over your face, front wards and in reverse, like twenty times. So why not let the birds bliss out to some serious sloth rock in the process?? I mean if the non-stop barrage of grit-sound-chaos contained on the band’s stunning 13 minute, 11 track disc, BORN TO DESTROY is any indication of the kind of damage these can guys can put out - then I say let these guys do their part to serve the country and let them help clear out all those infected birds with their music. Similarly if this scenario were to ever unfold in Ontario’s flock of birds, the Government could do the same thing there, by contracting out Brampton-based, calculus-core heathens THE END to do the killing, errr, hmmm, or should I say, “systematic depopulating�. The only difference between both methods of disposal is that the Ontario birds would get to see the face of God screaming in their faces before they leave thsiplanet. THE END’s latest release, WITHIN DIVIDIA on Relapse Records in an all our precision-metallic-melodia masterpiece. These guys have the chops, the fury and the muscle to belt out some serious tear yr face off voltage. Now I know my suggestions will most definitely go unnoticed. But in today’s troubling and often non-logical world, I believe that the FLATBED and THE END methods of animal disposal should at least be explored in the name of responsible and humane animal slaughter, errr, hmmm, or should I say, “depopulation�.

By L Pounds
Jun 17, 2004